Four weeks in

It's not been too bad so far this term. My health has improved, so that helps. My colleagues have been supportive, so that helps. 'puh' has had her hands full with other things, so that has helped too.

Two Weeks In

Almost two weeks now since the new term started. My colleagues are being quite supportive, so that is helping. No major incidents, just some minor chipping like contradicting instructions and things like that, but it's still tiring having to be so vigilant always. Very busy right now, so more later.

Depressing Reading

I have been 'snap reading' the books I mentioned a while ago. I haven't read either from cover to cover yet, but I am finding it a very discouraging exercise. The general theme seems to be "You can't win. Bullying can't be stopped. Eventually you will lose your job or quit and possibly damage your career for all time if you try to do something about it".

I feel really angry about that message. I feel there must be another way. Even now I can feel myself typing through gritted teeth.

It's not wholly bad news, both books do give some useful tips for managing the stress and how to keep from falling further into the game, but overall I am saddened and enraged by what I am reading.

Two days in

I've been back at work two days now. 'puh' found me a load of jobs to do on top of my regular workload, but I'm getting on okay.

I've decided to log the work she asks me to do on top of my usual stuff, and to record the timescales, in order to know that I can refute any accusations of not doing stuff in a timely fashion, etc., if I need to. It's about 'bullyproofing' myself, as one of the books refers to it - reassuring myself that what 'puh' tells me about myself is not true; recovering my confidence in the face of her onslaught of half-truths and misinterpretations etc. The only trouble is that logging things is adding an extra job to my workload. *sigh*

The books are interesting. Very different from each other in tone, but both good. Not had time to read all that much as yet though. One thing they do both say is that most people eventually throw in the towel and leave the job where they are being bullied without taking any (effective?) action against the bully, and that kind of upsets me. I hate to think of bullies getting away with it. Walking away is good for you, but still leaves a toxic situation for the next poor sod who draws their fire. Self-preservation has to be the first consideration, I guess, but it still narks me to think of bullies continually getting away with it.


A friend suggested the other day that one ploy she had found worked was to praise the bully and say how much you value them, because it's insecurity that's at the base of their behaviour. Not sure I could bring myself to be that way with 'puh' though.

Trying to stay positive

I'm back to work on Monday. I'm trying not to think too much about it, so this is probably only going to be a short entry.

I have very mixed emotions presently. I love the job I do, but there is a tide of dread lapping at my heart as I wonder what 'puh' may have done in my absence or what she may have in store for my return.

It's been a good week of holidays and I don't want it to end. I probably need to start some further reading once I am back to work.

The lady from the bullying website I found recently has emailed me, which is really nice.