Bad Week

It's been a horrible week. Everything has been piling in on top of me and I've felt close to suicidal for most of the week. I even got round to starting to write my suicide note... Don't worry though, I mostly wanted to see what I would write rather than planning to actually use it.

I've been terribly tearful and 'vibrating on the spot'... that's the only way I can describe the experience. It's being so full of fight or flight energy I'm scared I will pop, and at the same time having no direction to turn and nowhere to go.

It has been work-related. I've had a catalogue of disasters there this week. The ever-delightful 'puh' has 'helped' me by telling her manager all about my failings, so he's now 'looking into the situation'.

I so much want to slit my wrists it's untrue. Just to have a distraction from how miserable I am feeling and how frustrated and lonely and fed up I feel. But I won't. I don't know for sure why I won't, but I won't. so if you know me, don't worry, but do think of me because I need some support and good vibes to come my way.