I'm on holiday at present. I have had a mixed time off, since 'puh' managed to insert a 'Gnawing Trick' before I left work last week. A 'Gnawing Trick' is something that is done which stops you from switching off fully. In this case 'puh' had a meeting with me the day before she knew I was due for leave and set me an impossible deadline for a task for when I get back off my leave. Whether it's deliberate or not, it's a classic dirty trick.
I've tried not to let it bother me. But the fact that I've had to try indicates it worked, at least in part. It's a tactic 'puh' has used before, and I have been less stressed this time than I have been by previous incidents, mainly because I've had to recognise that it IS an impossible target and I AM going to fail to meet it, so why kill myself worrying about it ? So I've worried, but not to the same fever pitch of worrying I've let other Gnawing Tricks get me to.
I still hate the b*tch for the power I let her have over me. But then I am trying to be kinder to myself these days, so let's recognise that I've been conditioned to give that kind of power to her kind of people, and that I am gradually working my way out of that. Staying vigilant of your own thinking is a big task, but it's cheap for Life Insurance, which is what it amounts to for me.
