Games People Play

I'm currently trying to get the fact that I do have 'enhanced duties' recognised at work, with a view to receiving a change in pay scale. Consequently 'puh' has had a glorious opportunity to manipulate my situation, since she has been required to write me a letter of recommendation to support the process. You can imagine !


She has written the reference, but took every opportunity to mess with my head whilst doing so...

• Applications were open for three weeks. I asked her for a reference the day after the opportunity was advertised. I then had three 'Can't do it, too I'm busy with more important things'-styled knock backs.

• She finally came and spoke to me (without any witnesses) to say that she was going to be mostly supporting my application, BUT... manipulated 'truth' of what I was wrong about, and about my not having met a target (no consideration on mitigating circumstances) then ensued.

• I eventually had to submit my application without her letter of recommendation and explain to personnel they would have to ask her for it, because she refused to let me have it from her. She didn't let me know when she had sent it in, and I eventually had to check with personnel again to discover what had happened.

So my gripes are that:

a) Money is never unimportant. We all work for the pay. Being dismissive about an issue that is that significant to someone's life seems rude, at best, to me.

b) Making me wait three weeks (until minutes before the deadline, in fact) was unreasonable when all she really had to do was spend about 10-15 minutes ticking boxes - the reference document was a pro-forma.

c) It was a pro-forma of 'ticky boxes... She did not have to write a negative comment on the reference. I've been a manager myself, and I know that you can choose to comment on only what's good... or... there are ways to put a positive spin on things, even when they you have to make an acknowledgement that something adverse to a situation exists.

d) Forcing me to have to ask personnel to get my reference off her on my behalf was despicable because of the messages that then sends, regardless of what negative comments she may or may not actually have also included.


I know that, under data protection legislation, I do actually have a right to see the document she submitted, but it was made clear from the outset that there will be no appeals procedure where people are refused the change in pay scale applied for.

I actually predicted (b), (c) and (d) would occur, the moment I saw the document outlining the application procedure. It doesn't change the fact that I am made both angry and sad by her bullying behaviours.

It was quite revealing that her excuse for feeling she 'had' to make a negative comment was that she was worried she would be pulled up on it if she didn't make it clear she knew I hadn't met a target she'd set me.


I don't curse people, because I know the power of curses, and the reverberations that can result for the person sending the curse. 'Nuff said.